There was a time when I would not have admitted this on a Friday night in confession, but yes, I have done the E-matching thing, which I alluded to several months ago. In fact, I’ve been on and off line for a number of years. And like hundreds of thousands of horny people out there, I can say that it really does work, certainly in my case, and I’m confident that Kris would say the same — given that we met courtesy of a computer screen.
This kind of service — and I guess that’s the right word — has been around since the late 1990s and until most recent times you kept pretty quiet about personal involvement. Somehow, acknowledgement — in your own mind — branded you as desperate and a failure through traditional means of connecting with the opposite gender. Bars, clubs, mixers and even referrals simply weren’t working. So you were left to announcing your availability out there in the ether, while telling friends that the “new girl” was introduced through other friends.
My own “coming out” — and we’re talking about e-matching here — was finally prompted by a long-time colleague who noted that I always seemed to be using this “introduced by a friend” ploy and why was that? Arrgghhh! I fessed up. And, of course, she said, “Oh, I do that a lot, too.” Free at last. The flood gates opened. I was among jillions.
Why does it work? To a degree, the Law of Infinite Monkeys applies, that being if an infinite number of monkeys went to work on an infinite number of typewriters (you can see that this has been around for a while), they could eventually re-create all of the world’s great literature. Thus, given the tens of thousands of participants in Match.com or E-harmony and others, it’s essential to believe that Miss or Mr. Right is out there, and connection, if not consummation, lies in wait. Just keep, well, playing. Patience is a requirement, along with some ruthlessness. And above all, ya gotta have hope and a sense of humor. Plus, the resolve, the willingness to kiss any number of frogs is a big help.
Disappointment is part of the game, but to a large part, at least for me, it can be fun. Still, I quickly learned that photographs are almost always misleading and that people have either too much imagination or not nearly enough. Honesty, unhappily, is a scarce commodity.
I think one of the major problems is that people have a nearly inherent inability to see themselves in their best light and tend to fall prey to the cliché. A fondness for “candle-light dinners,” “walks along the beach,” and a guy who is “financially secure and has a great sense of humor” would seem to be the aspiration of half the women in the world. (I can’t tell you what guys prefer because I wasn’t looking there, but women have told me that their interests seem to be more self-directed, akin to “look at me.”) In sharp contrast, Kris expressed interest for a man who could do a two-step and listed one of her five essential items in life as a curling iron. We have a winner!
What makes it work — when it does — is the ease of contact. There’s just a low monthly fee, you don’t have to take a shower beforehand, and at the outset you’re the equal of George Clooney, plus it’s nearly instant. Go on line, look at pictures, read profiles and bang out e-mails.
Am I an advocate? Sure. Now. After all, look how it turned out for me. Couldn’t be more pleased. For the rest of mankind it makes sense as a part of this staying connected business. The difference, of course, is that meeting people this way goes a major extra step, in that you actually hope to experience them in real life.
Sure beats running up a bar bill.